11, 12, 13- Thursday

11- Gary Payne's morning class
-practiced with Chad

everything started with the "open the door and extend" technique; lots of conditioning, too;

12- Deena teaching for Elizabeth
-practiced with Jamie, MJ, and Donna

Practiced ryote dori entry- irimi nage, kokyu nage, shiho nage, tenshi nage, and junji nage

Both Deena and Jamie were really getting on me for being tense. Jamie counseled me to tighten my center all day every day until I get it; I don't have it yet. He says that my ukemi is improving faster than my relaxation. The result is likely to be that I will thrown around faster than I can handle if I am stiff. Also, if I resist, then that makes the nage employ more force. I'm bound to get hurt.

One good session as uke for Deena. She really knocked me around and loosened me up. I was wheezing by the end of it. I know I wasn't a model uke, but I feel like I learned a lot form the experience.

After class, I told Jamie that I have practicing with my center ever since he got on me about it a couple of months ago. I told him that I knew that I wasn't doing it and that it doesn't count until I do, but I wanted him to know that I wasn't shrugging his advice off. I take it very seriously. I probably came off as being whiny. I need to come up with a better way to put it. I just wanted him to know that I respect his input and want to do it, that I am making an effort. I know I won't get a gold star for effort, just achievement, but I don't want him to think that I'm blowing him off.

It really hurts to disappoint someone who is mentoring you. It is no wonder that I never sought out close teacher relationships before. There's a lot of pressure involved that scares me. But really, I need to learn some time.

13- Deena's class
practiced with Zoe, Miguel, I.W., Gustavo, Alan

Practiced in tachi waza and hanmi hondachi- sumiotoshi (?) entry; lots of conditioning, too, for the beginners- built core strength and practiced rolls; good class.

Was really happy when the day was done. I was tired and elated at all the experience I had just gained: it was what used to be a week's worth of classes in one day!

I hurt today, of course.